the anticipation, awaiting that oh so familiar sensation of serenity
the warmth that burned throughout every centimeter of my being,
the comfort of being surrounded though totally alone
i day dream of days gone by when life was merely a dream
and those nights in my room sinking ever so slowly into this same chair
the way the mirror lied though staring me straight in the eye
revealing features i never had, or never knew i had.
i long to let myself sink into the hole of my addictions and succumb willingly once again
to a lustful chemical romance, a bittersweet symphony of light and of sound, of fantasy and reality...
but reality sets in soon enough even then... i need a more permanent solution to life, though the only one i've seen is death and i am quite too self involved to allow myself to die.